If parenting is hard enough, co-parenting can sound impossible. Many changes can happen in just a short time frame, and figuring out how to deal with issues and decisions every day can be challenging. With your partner going on a separate way from you, there are parenting tasks you need to face alone. Not to mention the negative emotions caused by the divorce and the kids, one can act out and be defiant. Any parent in this situation can feel hopeless and often suffers from anxiety or self-doubt. How can you handle a big task? Why is co-parenting so hard?
Without a partner to split the chores, child care, and bills, you are left alone to figure out everything on your own. What makes co-parenting more challenging than it already is when the divorce leaves one or both parties bitter with emotional pain? Moving past this to co-parent openly and cooperatively is difficult. You need to embrace the new role and responsibilities that come with it. Find support from others who are in the same situation to help you transition more easily.
One of the most common causes of divorce is money disagreements. This doesn’t get any better, even after the divorce. You will probably get the budget cut in half or more. Getting your ex to cooperate with co-payments requires regular communication.
These setbacks can be overwhelming, but remember that there are things you can do to get past this stage. Co-parenting successfully is possible with the following things:
While easing boundaries during the situation seems like the right thing to do, do the opposite instead. Keep clear and firm boundaries; you don’t want to be the fun parent that lets them have anything they want. Don’t overcompensate since your actions and the structure you will set affect their future.
Despite living under different roofs, being on the same page with your partner is vital, especially when making life-changing decisions for your children. Have respectful communication and teamwork to achieve this.
Sending messages is better than calling when it comes to co-parenting. This is because you can organize your thoughts better and be less emotionally charged. It is also a more effective method of documenting communication.
There are apps that offer a convenient way to pay child support and sync calendars with your partner for important events. This allows both parents to be accountable for payments while maintaining a record for when you need to present it to the court system and your lawyer.
Take the High Road
Keep the kids’ best interests in mind; don’t yell and argue. Keep a professional attitude and neutral tone with your co-parent.
Watch Your Words
Divorce is difficult for everyone in the family, and you don’t want the kids to carry the weight of your emotions. Speak respectfully about your ex-partner around your kids, otherwise it will cause a rift and hurt their bond with you both. This also goes with the children, never allowing disrespectful name-calling.
It will take time to let go of the pain and hurt caused by divorce. Co-parenting is challenging enough with all the changes and the time needed to make a living. Give your ex-partner time to grieve and move on.
Your family, friends, and even hired professionals can take a huge workload off your shoulders. You can get sound advice from them better than when you vent to your neighbors.
Keep Accurate Records
Expect disputes and be ready for them. Keep detailed records of expenses by using shared parenting apps like DComply. These records will provide facts and contribute to a productive discussion to resolve disagreements.
Divorce brings many life changes and co-parenting is a challenge that you need to get used to, on top of the big emotions you have to deal with. With the information we have mentioned, you can set out to do what is best for your children.
Download this infographic.