The majority of psychologists and legal judges concur that it is ideal for the long-term adjustment of the kid on psychological, educational, and behavioral levels to have joint custody of the children after a divorce. Even if the parents continue to disagree, maintaining calm conversations and adhering to agreements becomes a little bit simpler once both parents can agree that their children’s best interests come first.
But what can a parent do when the other parent seems determined to continue being tough and uncooperative? What happens if one parent has a personality issue that makes civilized co-parenting appear to be impossible? Are you prepared to discover how to achieve the most calm in your circumstance? The only thing you can control is yourself. Continue reading to learn how we divide this one guideline into a number of doable objectives.
Control Your Actions
Do your best to conduct businesslike conversations with your ex. Always text to ensure you have records of conversations, and never say anything in a text that could be used against you in court or at a mediation.
Control Your Language
When you are around your children, pay close attention to the tone of your voice and your facial expressions since they are very perceptive to non-verbal cues, even when they are unable to verbalize their sentiments. Refrain from disparaging the other parent if you think your child might be present. Loyalty conflicts in children are common, which can be stressful for them and damaging to their relationships with one or both parents. It is important for kids to understand that it’s ok to love and be loved by both parents.
You have every right to defend yourself in front of your child when the other parent is disparaging you. Do so in a calm, factual, and age-appropriate manner. Make it clear to your child that they can come to you with any disturbing information they may hear. Your child’s concerns can be reduced if a complicated topic is explained in words they can comprehend. Your calm handling of this delicate issue might make your child feel safer and serve as a positive role model for how to act in similar stressful situations in the future because they have observed you and picked up on your manners.
You Can Control Your Thoughts
Regain emotional neutrality while dealing with a challenging co-parent by focusing on your parenting strategy rather than disturbing actions. Among co-parents, scheduling and spending monitoring are some of the most contentious subjects. Find a mobile co-parenting app or online co-parenting tool to help you organize, communicate, fulfill, and record co-parenting obligations while keeping a distance from your ex.
Know who you can rely on
You don’t have to bear the burden of a divorce’s aftermath by yourself. A few of the trained experts that can help you lessen the strain of managing a difficult co-parent include therapists, mediators, and attorneys. These experts can also act as the calm voice of reason, helping a recalcitrant co-parent accept essential limits or sensible solutions. Caring relatives and friends can offer you a much-needed hug as well as serve as a terrific sounding board.
Just what you can control. Give Up What You Can
Raw emotions are a result of wounded feelings, which make things more difficult. Some adults may find it difficult to initially come together for the benefit of the affected youngsters. Make an effort to exercise restraint and to uphold the essential emotional and physical boundaries so that you can continue to walk the moral high road. Although you have no influence over what a high-conflict parent says or does, you may start by adopting a business-neutral approach. Apps designed to help co-parents adhere to their parenting plan while remaining remote can be used to track shared money and messages.